By John Bosio
A few years ago I read in our Catholic newspaper an interview with a couple who attended the annual wedding anniversary Mass presided by the local bishop. The reporter asked the wife to share the secret of their successful fifty-year marriage. The wife responded that they had found great strength in their shared faith and in their participation in the Church’s sacraments.
If we were to ask a hundred Catholic couples how their faith helps them persevere and grow in their relationship we would likely hear a hundred different answers. But in these answers we would find a common theme: their understanding of what love is. Catholic couples learn the qualities of Christian love when they gather around the Eucharistic table and when they participate in the sacraments. When gathered as a community in prayer, they hear Jesus’ message: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn 15:12) And as they celebrate his death and resurrection, they learn from Christ how to love one another.
The Eucharist and the other sacraments are for Catholics those special moments in which Christ embraces his bride, the Church, to express his love for her. These rituals are for Catholic spouses great sources of graces for their life together, and they are a constant reminder of how husband and wife are to love each other. For example, just as Christ welcomes us into God’s kingdom through Baptism, spouses are to welcome each other every day. Just as Christ seals us to himself with the gift of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, spouses seal their heart to each other through their constant presence and attention. Just as Christ offers himself in sacrifice for us in the Mass, spouses are to make sacrifices for the sake of their relationship. AsChrist forgives our sins in the sacrament of Reconciliation, spouses are to forgive each other. Just as Christ heals and comforts us in the Anointing of the Sick, spouses are to comfort and help each other heal. As Christ calls us to serve God and one another in Holy Orders and Matrimony, spouses are to serve God and each other.
Christ’s love for the Church as expressed in the seven sacraments is the model and the blueprint for building the marital relationship. Therefore, to love your spouse as Christ loves the Church you are to
- Welcome and accept your spouse, as he or she is: be patient, tolerant of imperfections, understanding, and receptive.
- Be always present and attentive to your spouse: listen to understand and keep your word.
- Make sacrifices for the sake of your spouse and your relationship.
- Forgive your spouse and ask forgiveness.
- Comfort and help your spouse heal.
- Serve God and your spouse generously.
These behaviors are the blueprint for a happy marriage. To the extent that you master these behaviors, you will turn your selfish choices into acts of love that bring you happiness.
Question for Reflection: How is your religious faith and participation in the sacraments helping you grow in your relationship with your spouse?
John Bosio is a former marriage and family therapist, director of religious education, and diocesan family life coordinator. He and his wife, Teri, wrote Joined by Grace, a marriage preparation program from Ave Maria Press.
