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Meaning of Marriage

Prayer for a Simple Kind of Love by Haley Stewart

By | Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Romance, Spirituality | No Comments

I have trouble sleeping if my husband, Daniel, is out of town. The familiar sound of his breathing as he sleeps beside me is what slows my own breath and beckons me into sleep each night. After fifteen years of marriage, if he is far away it feels as if part of me is missing. “Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” This is how scripture describes the intimacy of marriage (Gn 2:23). A parent and a child are bound together by blood, but a husband and wife take on this kind of intimacy by choice, reflecting the relationship between God and the Church, his chosen Bride. Through sacramental grace, our spouse—although forever in some ways a mystery to all but God—is made intimately known to us and we to him. The differences between Daniel and me remain a source of wonder, occasional frustration, and frequent bemusement. “You…

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Turning Good Marriages into Pathways to Glory

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It’s a Sacrament; It’s a Vocation; It’s a Road map to Heaven! Sacramental marriage “aims at a deeply personal unity, the unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul.” —Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio Marriage can be good. With effort, it can be very good. But it takes God to make the union glorious—a foretaste of heaven, in a sense. God can help you find the glory in lifelong commitment through all the highs and lows. God calls you together, he binds you together in a mystical way through the Sacrament of Matrimony, and he sets you on the path to heaven. He wants husbands and wives to seek each other’s salvation and redemption by offering all they have without holding anything back.  Sacramental Channels of Grace  The first step in cooperating with God’s beautiful plan for our married lives is to realize…

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Common Obstacles to Serving with Love

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The Influence of Secular Individualism In contemporary society, it has become difficult to see that our life and love may have a purpose greater than just our own self-satisfaction. We are constantly bombarded by messages that tell us to “put yourself first” and “do what feels good.” This individualistic view of life is an obstacle to serving God and each other. The 2007 report published by the National Marriage Project called “The State of Our Unions” speaks of a cultural shift that is taking place in the United States. The social scientists report on the growing influence of “secular individualism.” Secular individualism is a mindset that is spreading across all modern cultures, touting a secular view of life. This way of thinking replaces the guidance of religious faith with the pursuit of personal self-fulfillment. Secular individualism is leading our society to distort the meaning of marriage; accept cohabitation, divorce, and…

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How the Sacramental Graces of Marriage Help Couples

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage | No Comments

The sacrament of Marriage is not just a ritual you will celebrate on your wedding day. Your wedding rite is the door that opens your heart to the graces you need to be a credible icon of Jesus’ love each day of your life—a sacrament of God’s love. Being married in the Church in a sacramental marriage is an act of faith that brings you many graces. It is because of your faith that you allow yourself to be touched by God and love your spouse in good times and bad. You let the example of Jesus and the prompting of the Holy Spirit guide you and influence you every day. • When you are upset and hurt in your relationship, it will be your faith that urges you to turn to Jesus who will guide you back to each other. • When you bask in the love of your…

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Tools for Communication and Prayer

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The road to mutual welcome and acceptance requires spouses to do a great deal of listening and to engage in honest, self-giving conversation with each other and with God. Listening with an Open Mind Spouses often give one another advice that is helpful. At times, though, the advice is unsolicited and can create barriers, conflict, and even hostility. Marriage experts tell us that too often this advice is seen as nagging or bossy and therefore too frequently is simply dismissed, despite the fact that there is considerable advantage to listening to one’s spouse with an open mind and at least considering, if not always accepting, his or her advice. Teri: The Door John and I were married two and a half years and had a ten month- old daughter. We were living in our first home and decided to install a storm door for our front entrance. We went to…

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Accepting Your Spouse as Precious Gift

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You welcome and accept your spouse as Jesus welcomes you when you embrace him or her as a precious gift. Between 1979 and 1984 St. John Paul II gave a series of talks on the dignity of the human person and marriage. These lectures became known as the Theology of the Body. Then pope, John Paul taught that God gave Eve to Adam and Adam to Eve as a gift. He made each for the other. You are made for each other, and in marriage you give your spouse the gift that you are. In your mutual self-giving and receiving, you affirm one another as a man and as a woman and you grow closer together. When leading retreats for married couples, we often ask, “How is your spouse a gift from God to you?” Here are some of the answers we have heard: “We are thankful that God made…

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What Baptism Teaches Us about Marriage

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Through Baptism we enter into a personal relationship with Jesus, who loves us intimately and completely, accepting us as we are while also calling us to be more. The way Jesus loves us in Baptism is the model for the way spouses are called to love each other Both in Baptism and in Marriage two persons freely choose each other. In Baptism Jesus freely chooses us because he loves us, and we freely choose him. In the sacrament of Marriage spouses must freely and completely choose each other. In Baptism Christ forgives our sins and accepts us as members of his Body to share his divine life with us. In Marriage husband and wife see beyond each other’s imperfections and shortcomings. They welcome and accept each other as they are and join together for the whole of life. In Baptism we become one with Christ as members of his Mystical…

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Tools for Money Management and Communication Skills

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The commitment to be present touches all aspects of the marital rela­tionship. It is reflected in a special way in the honesty and trust spouses need to have with each other in their day-to-day interactions. One of the most tangible expressions of mutual trust and commitment is visible in a couple’s way of managing their money. Their ability to communicate openly about finances and to harmonize their buying and spending styles is critical to a couple’s development of healthy financial habits. This ability strengthens the relationship. Therefore, we will address here not only money management but also communication skills and the importance of remembering that no matter what we do we are always in God’s presence. Teri: Making a Budget Before John and I were married, we discussed how we would manage our money, and we agreed that we would have only one checking account. For us, having a common…

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The Value of Commitment and the Power of Grace

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Every couple wants their marriage to last a lifetime. Researchers tell us that the presence of an irrevocable commitment contributes to the happiness of the spouses. Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, and Maggie Gallagher, former chair of the National Organi­zation for Marriage, reported on their research in The Case for Marriage. They found that “having a partner who is committed for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, makes people happier and healthier.” But married life can be difficult, and today many couples find it hard to keep their promises. Many young people have grown up expe­riencing the pains of divorce in their homes. While wanting to marry, they find it hard to believe that marriages can last a lifetime and are afraid to commit. If you are one of them, take courage. One of the ben­efits of a marriage founded on faith is…

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What Confirmation Teaches Us about Marriage

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Christ’s love for us as expressed in the sacrament of Confirmation is the model for the love that you will promise to your spouse in your marriage vows. There are many similarities between the sacraments of Confirmation and Marriage: In Confirmation, the Holy Spirit binds the candidate permanently to Christ, and in Marriage, through your promises, the Holy Spirit will bind you permanently to your spouse. In Confirmation, the bishop marks the candidates with oil indicating that they belong to Christ. In Marriage, spouses mark each other with a wedding ring to indicate that they belong to one another. In Confirmation, the presence of the Holy Spirit strengthens the can­didate’s bond with Christ and his or her membership in the Church. In marriage, the spouses’ reliable presence to each other strengthens their bond, increases their mutual trust, and prepares them for life­long intimacy. Confirmation strengthens Christians in their mission to…

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