Category

Marriage Enrichment

Jun 26
0

Resentment: Lord, the One You Love is Keeping Score

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

Being Resentful Is Not the Same as Getting Frustrated All of us will experience times of frustration in our relationships. (This is true for all kinds of relationships, but I’m going to focus on romantic partnerships in this part of the book.) After all, we’re constantly learning how to give and accept love, and learning how to love another person as God loves them gives us daily opportunities to see where we’re lacking and where we need to improve. When a partner leaves the toilet seat up or doesn’t take out the trash in time for the morning collection, we might get frustrated. Similarly, when we leave our clothes on the floor or accidentally throw away important paperwork or track mud in the house, our partner might get frustrated with us. That frustration can lead to arguments, and it’s a bad feeling for everyone involved. Again, we’re all trying our…

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Apr 26
0

Bending So We Don’t Break

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

My parents have long had a wonderful saying: “Never leave one good party in search of another.” Of course, the adage applied to real parties. My mom and dad were notorious for being the last to leave any social gathering. They were the first on the dance floor and the last to wave goodbye, usually after having stayed around to help clean up. But I learned early on that their wisdom also applied to most of the important things in life: education, career, and especially marriage. When I need an example of a strong marriage, I simply look to my own parents, who have been going strong for fifty years and counting. I won’t say that they never fought, but I will say that they were partners through and through. At the core of their relationship is a mutual covenant to help one another get to heaven and to experience…

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Apr 26
0

PRAYERS FOR FOSTERING UNITY

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Uncategorized | No Comments

Releasing Unhealthy Attachment with Parents Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I have not fully left my parents to be joined to my spouse. I now renounce any unhealthy attachment I have with either of my parents. I release them to you, Father, and I ask you to give them the grace to release me. I declare that my primary allegiance is to you and to my spouse. I pray this in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Releasing Unhealthy Attachment with Children Heavenly Father, I recognize that I have formed unhealthy attachments with my children, and that this is unhealthy for their growth and development and for my relationship with my spouse. I ask you for the grace to release those unhealthy attachments now, and to form a healthy bond with my spouse, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Renouncing Unholy…

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Mar 29
0

Falling in Love by Paul George

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

What is more difficult, falling in love or staying in love? I’ve had this question posed to me a few times. The soul awakens when one falls in love. My soul awoke when I fell in love with my wife. Falling in love was easy. Sure, I had some fears and doubts, but as soon as I let go of those, I fell hard. My soul awoke too when I gave my life to Jesus. I sur- rendered. I had questions, doubts, and fears, but once I let go of those, my heart fell in love and broke open. My out- look changed overnight, but changes in my behavior and attitudes took time. I’m still on the journey of healing, growth, and conversion. Love requires more of us than falling. It’s the day-to-day process of loving that develops holy grit within us. We all know the feeling when the romance…

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Jan 26
0

Find Love in Small Deeds

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

In addition to being kind to ourselves, we also need to open up to the gentle presence of others in our lives. There are so many people who, during the day, care for us through little words of affirmation or other small ways. But we take them all for granted and miss the power of their wonderful support. It may take the form of family and friends saying a kind word. They may call just to let us know they are thinking of us. Or, they may do a small chore for us so we don’t have to do it ourselves. Often these are unrecognized graces. We fail to recognize them because we are used to them, maybe too used to them. Then we miss them when they are gone. Being grateful for the wonderful people in our lives now would certainly change our behavior toward them. As in the…

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Jan 26
0

Healing for Everyone

By | Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

As the sun was setting, all those who had any who were sick with various kinds of diseases brought them to him; and he laid his hands on each of them and cured them. —Luke 4:40 Throughout the gospels, people arrive with a variety of sufferings for Jesus to heal. No type of ailment or hurt is too little, too large, or too strange for him to tend. He encounters everyone personally—touching them, placing his hands upon them, flesh to flesh, and coming close to the ill, soul to soul. And he does so for each of them. He treats them not as impersonal objects but rather as people who matter, people not only in need of his attentiveness but also worthy of it. Did Jesus fear catching a disease? Did he flinch when he saw festering wounds or smelled the stench of the unbathed? Did he feel repelled by…

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Dec 22
0

Activity for Couples: Marital Conflict and Core Wounds

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

There are often core wounds and hidden sins that lie behind each repetitive marital conflict. But because they are hidden, we need help discovering them. So, as you engage in this activity, I encourage you each to ask the Holy Spirit to help you see these hidden issues within yourself and your partner. As you explore these hidden wounds and sins, do so with understanding and compassion. Personal Reflection 1. Begin by reflecting personally on how you perceive your marital conflict. See it clearly in your imagination. If you were to draw a picture of you interacting during conflict, how would you depict each of you in the argument? In your mind’s eye, pay attention to what each of you is expressing nonverbally through your body posture and facial expressions. 2. Once you can picture both of you in the scene, name the feelings that you observe in each of…

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Nov 28
0

Journey with the Holy Family

By | Family Life, Holidays, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

As we prepare for the coming of the Son of God, we will journey with the Holy Family. Depending upon the calendar, the fourth week of Advent could have one day or six days, but we will spend them all with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We journey with Mary and Joseph as they make their way to Bethlehem, where there will be no room for them at the inn. There they will settle in at a stable and Jesus will be born in humility in the quiet of the night. We will be with Mary and Joseph in the ordinary moments of life and in the extraordinary circumstance of God coming to earth as we all do, as a small and wonderful child. The stable wherein Jesus is born says so much about the desires and love of God. It is no coincidence that Jesus is born in a stable….

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Sep 26
0

Gender Differences

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

There are many people and organizations today that downplay the importance of gender or want to deny there are any differences between men and women. But the popularity of bestselling books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and Men and Women Are from Eden show that many married couples are quite interested in understanding the inherent differences between the sexes. Research has validated that there are fundamental differences in the way men and women relate in marriage. And scripture highlights these differences in the creation story: “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gn 1:27). I was amazed while studying the theology of the body to discover the rich meaning of the Hebrew names for male and female. The word male in Hebrew is zakar. It literally means “to remember,” and it speaks to…

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Aug 30
0

UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS OF CONFLICTS

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

[Love] does not seek its own interests, . . . it does not brood over injury. —1 Corinthians 13:5 Your marriage will largely succeed or fail depending on how well you understand and reconcile the unavoidable conflicts that are inherent in your relationship. No matter how compatible or incompatible you believe you are, some level of conflict is inevitable. How you understand and address these issues will make the difference between whether you have a good marriage or a poor one, or one that falls somewhere in between. If handled well, your conflicts will bring you into deeper unity and intimacy with each other. If ignored long enough, unresolved conflicts can become internalized, and cause one or both of you to withdraw your love. Understanding your conflicts does not mean that all of them are resolvable. In fact, according Dr. John Gottman’s research, most conflicts in marriage are not resolvable….

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