Category

Finding Joy

Sep 26
0

Gender Differences

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

There are many people and organizations today that downplay the importance of gender or want to deny there are any differences between men and women. But the popularity of bestselling books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and Men and Women Are from Eden show that many married couples are quite interested in understanding the inherent differences between the sexes. Research has validated that there are fundamental differences in the way men and women relate in marriage. And scripture highlights these differences in the creation story: “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gn 1:27). I was amazed while studying the theology of the body to discover the rich meaning of the Hebrew names for male and female. The word male in Hebrew is zakar. It literally means “to remember,” and it speaks to…

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Aug 30
0

Gather Together for a Fall Feast

By | Family Life, Finding Joy, Uncategorized | No Comments

Menu: This menu fits so well with the crisp weather of autumn—from the roasted butternut squash soup, to a spectacular stuffed pumpkin baked to perfection in the French style. Tell everyone to save room, because a rustic apple crisp is for dessert. Starter: Roasted Butternut Squash Soup Main: Spectacular Stuffed Pumpkin Side: Kale Salad with Cider-Maple Vinaigrette Dessert: Any-Fruit Crisp with Homemade Caramel Sauce STARTER: ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP Serves 8 Ingredients You’ll Need 4 (12-ounce) packages precut butternut squash (or 2 medium butternut squashes, peeled, seeded, and chopped) 4 tablespoons olive oil, divided 1 tablespoon honey Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning 1 large onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed 4 cups chicken or vegetable stock 1 teaspoon sea salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground Healthy pinch of ground cinnamon Healthy pinch of ground nutmeg 2 cups unsweetened canned coconut milk or heavy…

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Aug 30
0

UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS OF CONFLICTS

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

[Love] does not seek its own interests, . . . it does not brood over injury. —1 Corinthians 13:5 Your marriage will largely succeed or fail depending on how well you understand and reconcile the unavoidable conflicts that are inherent in your relationship. No matter how compatible or incompatible you believe you are, some level of conflict is inevitable. How you understand and address these issues will make the difference between whether you have a good marriage or a poor one, or one that falls somewhere in between. If handled well, your conflicts will bring you into deeper unity and intimacy with each other. If ignored long enough, unresolved conflicts can become internalized, and cause one or both of you to withdraw your love. Understanding your conflicts does not mean that all of them are resolvable. In fact, according Dr. John Gottman’s research, most conflicts in marriage are not resolvable….

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Aug 30
1

An Examination of Your Hearts for Married Couples

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

We invite you as a couple to enter into an examination of your own hearts. Spend time asking yourself and each other where there are wounds, and after opening the tomb and exposing the dead life within you, pray with each other for freedom and joy. As you read through this examination of wounds, write down or mark in your book which wounds afflict your heart. We have started a list below. Use our list, or if the Holy Spirit brings things to light that are not written here, add them. Add all of them and leave nothing in the tomb. It’s resurrection time. We will be praying specifically into each area in the next step. Before you begin, make the Sign of the Cross and take a deep breath. Allow your hearts to enter into Christ’s peace. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and reveal what has been hidden….

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Jul 25
0

Tools for Building a Strong Marriage

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

For our love to be life-giving, we need to be connected with one another. Unfortunately, in today’s electronically linked world, we are sometimes more aware of the people on the other side of our phone or the Internet than of the people who are sitting in front of us: the members of our family. How can we provide for their needs and be of service to them if we are not aware of them? John: Invisible People Dave and Diane are a couple in their early thirties. Married seven years, they have two children. Dave is a successful professional, and Diane works part-time at the local library. They are a normal couple and have the problems that all couples have. As I listened to Diane and Dave describe, during a counseling session, their problems and their schedules, I formed a mental picture of their evenings’ routine. It is 7:00 p.m….

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Jun 28
1

Accepting Your Spouse as Precious Gift

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

You welcome and accept your spouse as Jesus welcomes you when you embrace him or her as a precious gift. Between 1979 and 1984 St. John Paul II gave a series of talks on the dignity of the human person and marriage. These lectures became known as the Theology of the Body. Then pope, John Paul taught that God gave Eve to Adam and Adam to Eve as a gift. He made each for the other. You are made for each other, and in marriage you give your spouse the gift that you are. In your mutual self-giving and receiving, you affirm one another as a man and as a woman and you grow closer together. When leading retreats for married couples, we often ask, “How is your spouse a gift from God to you?” Here are some of the answers we have heard: “We are thankful that God made…

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May 31
0

Tools for Money Management and Communication Skills

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

The commitment to be present touches all aspects of the marital rela­tionship. It is reflected in a special way in the honesty and trust spouses need to have with each other in their day-to-day interactions. One of the most tangible expressions of mutual trust and commitment is visible in a couple’s way of managing their money. Their ability to communicate openly about finances and to harmonize their buying and spending styles is critical to a couple’s development of healthy financial habits. This ability strengthens the relationship. Therefore, we will address here not only money management but also communication skills and the importance of remembering that no matter what we do we are always in God’s presence. Teri: Making a Budget Before John and I were married, we discussed how we would manage our money, and we agreed that we would have only one checking account. For us, having a common…

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May 31
0

The Value of Commitment and the Power of Grace

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

Every couple wants their marriage to last a lifetime. Researchers tell us that the presence of an irrevocable commitment contributes to the happiness of the spouses. Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, and Maggie Gallagher, former chair of the National Organi­zation for Marriage, reported on their research in The Case for Marriage. They found that “having a partner who is committed for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, makes people happier and healthier.” But married life can be difficult, and today many couples find it hard to keep their promises. Many young people have grown up expe­riencing the pains of divorce in their homes. While wanting to marry, they find it hard to believe that marriages can last a lifetime and are afraid to commit. If you are one of them, take courage. One of the ben­efits of a marriage founded on faith is…

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Apr 25
0

Learning to Bring Comfort and Healing

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Romance, Spirituality | No Comments

In marriage, loving as Jesus means being aware of each other’s needs and pains and helping one another carry our burdens. One of the early challenges couples experience in marriage is the feeling of drifting apart and the anguish that comes from it. Dr. William Doherty writes that getting married is like launching a trip on the Mississippi River with a canoe. Unless the couple paddles to resist the currents, they will be carried downstream to places they did not intend to visit. Dr. Doherty writes in his book Take Back Your Marriage that after a few months or years of marriage, spouses tend to let their relationship shift into “automatic pilot,” and they drift apart. John: What’s Wrong with Us? The young lady sitting in my office looked distraught. Valerie and John had been married barely six months. They married dreaming of a blissful life together. Now, however, Valerie…

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Mar 28
3

Tools for Building a Strong Marriage

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage | No Comments

Married life is full of conflicts. The tools we explore here are twofold: the communication skills needed for resolving conflicts and the power of prayer to help us grow in mutual respect and overcome our natural tendency to self-centeredness. Teri: War and Peace One summer, while sailing on a local lake, I saw a boat with a name that caught my attention: War & Peace. Someone told me that the boat belonged to an older couple, members of our parish. Weeks later when I saw them at a parish function, I said to them, “There must be a story behind the name of your boat.” Doris and Ken are a delightful pair. They looked at each other with a smile, and then Doris explained that early in their marriage they were looking for a way to spend fun time together. “We discovered that we both loved being on the water…

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