Category

Communication

Jan 22
2

Learn From Your Battles

By | Communication, Finances | No Comments

By John Bosio    I have often compared married life to a dance. It is rhythmic, passionate, and beautiful. But this dance can easily turn into a tug of war, a battle for control and for power. Do you remember how you and your spouse have battled over such things as “my money/your money,” “my job/your job,” “my parents/your parents,” “my turn/your turn,” “my friends/your friends?” and “I want/you want?”   I do not remember the first big argument that Teri and I had, but I remember very clearly one painful confrontation that took place in the first year of our marriage. Not surprisingly, it was about money.     When we got married, we transferred Teri’s money into “my” checking account. We thought this was the best way to handle our finances. For us, having a common account represented our intent of sharing everything. Since our money was now in what used to be “my” checking account, we both assumed that I would…

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Nov 23
0

Celebrate Your Story 

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

By John Bosio    I have never met a couple, regardless of how long they have been married, who did not cherish sharing memories of their beginning and of the key moments in their life together.  Every couple is a unique story. You and your spouse are a story. I invite you to celebrate the journey you have traveled thus far together by recalling your story.  The song from the movie The Love Story. sung by Andy Williams, comes to mind: “Where do I begin to tell the story of a love…”  If I asked you to tell me your love story where would it begin? Would you start telling your story from your wedding day or would you go back to a time when you first met, or even to a time before you ever knew each other?   Each year for the past seven years, when I go to Thailand on business, I am reminded…

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Oct 30
0

I Would Be Happy If . . .

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

 By John Bosio   During a recent visit with my sister and brother-in-law who are adjusting to the retired life, each of them complained to me about the other. She was saying: “Retired life would be great if he was not so stubborn. When he sets his mind to do something, he does it, and either I go along with it or we fight. The house is a mess. He starts a project, then another, then one more, and never finishes any one of them. His presence at home 24 hours-a–day drives me crazy.”   I heard a similar litany from her husband: “I retired first and I had my own comfortable routine at home during the day. Now she is at home and we get in each other’s way. She criticizes everything I do, including my favorite hobbies. For years I enjoyed tending to our garden. When she was working she had no interest in it. Now she is telling me what to plant and when to…

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Sep 28
0

Extraordinary Love

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

By Nicole Rodriguez  Have you ever noticed that God likes to work outside of our paradigm? He loves to do the unthinkable and the unimaginable in our lives. With the most ordinary of circumstances, he creates the extraordinary. Such as with the simple question posed to me many years ago: “How many children do you want?”   My story begins with a desire to have children in the beautifully ordinary way. After losing our first child to miscarriage, my husband, Lance, and I waited six long years before discovering with delight that I was pregnant again. Our excitement and joy for Thomas, our second baby boy, were understandably tempered with anxiety, and within just a few short weeks, our hopes were dashed.  We were both heartbroken. Instead of turning inward in our suffering, we made a choice to turn to God and our prayer community. As our community gathered around us to share in our suffering and to pray with us, one friend asked…

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Sep 28
1

Patience, a Virtue for Our Time

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Uncategorized | No Comments

By John Bosio  After months of a pandemic, with physical and social restrictions, most of us feel the effect of chronic stress. This manifests itself in our homes through arguments about money and bills, disagreements about managing the children, spats about whose turn it is to do a task in the home, and disconnects in other aspects of daily life. If you find yourself having difficult and tense conversations with your spouse and with your children, it may be helpful to pray for an increase in patience and tolerance, and to consider the following suggestions gathered from marriage experts:  Pick your battles—Not every conflict needs to turn into a battle. John Gottman, a respected researcher on marriage, points out that 69 percent of conflicts in a marriage are recurring; they are not solvable. Couples need to learn to live with them. He and other psychologists point out that patience and compromise are essential virtues in marriage. 2. Control how you respond—Many conflicts with our spouse or our children are not…

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Aug 27
0

Enthronement Offers a New Beginning in Your Marriage

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Spirituality | No Comments

By Emily Jaminet More than seven years ago, my family welcomed Jesus in a special way through the enthronement of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. On that day, my husband and I were joined by our six children and my parents for this momentous occasion. At the time, we felt like “life was good” and marriage was “fine,” but we soon discovered that the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus was offering us so much more! The enthronement allowed us to hit the pause button as a couple amid our very busy lives and pray that our Lord would come into our lives in a new way. Over the years, I have realized that every other significant spiritually impacting experience took place on retreats, at conferences, at our church, and in Holy Mass. The enthronement was the first time where as a couple and a family we were strengthened in the…

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Aug 27
1

The Marriage Matrix

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage, Romance, Spirituality | No Comments

By John Bosio With the release of the film trilogy The Matrix, a new word entered our popular vocabulary. The word “matrix” is actually an old word, according to the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary. It dates back to the sixteenth century and has its roots in Latin. Matrix means “something from which something else originates”  and “form or mold, and pattern.” Matrix is a word that describes well God’s relationship with humanity and our relationship with God. He is our matrix; the source of our being and of our life. God is the pattern in the likeness of whom we were made. The prophet Isaiah proclaimed, “O Lord, you are our father; we are the clay and you are the potter: we are all the work of your hands.” (Is 64:8) Marriage is not an institution invented by humans: God created it. When God made the first man and the first…

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Jul 27
0

Family Planning the Natural Way

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Sexual Intimacy and NFP | No Comments

By John Bosio  Do you remember private conversations before your wedding about how many children you wanted? I remember Teri dreaming out loud that she wanted to have six, just like her mother, but coming from a family of three I was secretly hoping it would not be so. I would say, “let’s start with one at a time.”   The conversation about children and when to have them is one that leads couples to choose a method for managing their fertility. Many women today choose to manage their fertility through some form of hormonal contraception—a method that has many side effects and risks. The Catholic Church considers all methods of artificial contraception as misguided. Let me explain.  In a Catholic wedding, just before reciting the vows, the priest asks the couple: “Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”   According…

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Jun 22
1

Help Those Suffering Because of the Pandemic

By | Communication, Family Life, Finances | No Comments

By John Bosio  In these days, whenever I read statistics about job losses due to the coronavirus pandemic, (20.5 million jobs lost in April alone) my heart aches for the families affected. I think of the people those numbers represent: the tears shed; the anxiety of fathers and mothers who wonder how to tell their children. I imagine the private conversations between parents on how to meet the family obligations: rent and bills of all sorts. I think about couples discussing how to stretch the family budget, the disagreements that under the stress of the moment escalate into arguments and can at times explode into violence. I think of the single parents who have to weather this crisis alone. My heart aches for all these families. Anyone who has experienced a job loss knows some of the pains.  The news of job losses brings back memories of a time when, during an…

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Jan 16
2

The Meaning of Love

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Romance, Uncategorized | One Comment

By John Bosio A few months ago I received an unsolicited email message entitled “The Meaning of Love.” The author had collected many definitions of love given by young children, ages four to eight years old. Here are three that caught my attention: “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” “Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.” These are truly examples of love that is self-giving through which couples imitate Christ in their everyday life, and when they do they are an example to others, especially to their children, of God’s love. Love…

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