Category

Communication

The Gift: Self-Donation

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. —Matthew 16:25  A life of self-gift deviates from the social script and that is part of why it is so difficult. We need look no further than the life of Jesus. He stood out by being present, available to, and signaling the dignity of others. So too, if we stand out, we will experience some form of rejection. The perennial crossroad of life is one where the path of comfort runs across the path of meaning, connection, and selflessness. In writing these words, the choice seems easy, but it almost never is. And yet we still know that we want to choose the way of meaning, connection, and sacrifice. In a terrible yet amusing way, self-gift is both the problem and the solution. It is the problem because it is so difficult. Selfishness is a way of life that we…

Read More

Prayers and Reflections from Draw Near: Daily Prayers for Advent and Christmas 2023

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

  January 1 Monday in the Octave of Christmas Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Luke 2:19 The shepherds arriving after Jesus’s birth must have been a surprise. Mary and Joseph knew there was something special about the child, and Mary’s cousin, Elizabeth, had said the same. But now, for the first time, this little life was touching complete strangers. And they must have looked strange—and smelled even stranger. These were outsiders, and they arrived with wide eyes and fantastical stories about the heavens opening up and a message from an angel. How did they know what was going on with this little family so far from home? When the shepherds left, they continued to share the news about shining angels coming in the night with tidings of joy and praise. According to Luke, everyone who heard their…

Read More

Worthwhile Resolutions by Joyce Rupp

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Holidays, Marriage Enrichment, New Year's Resolutions | No Comments

  It takes effort to direct thoughts to things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, worthy of praise. ~ Amy Kuebelbeck   No matter how life is currently unfolding, I always look forward to greeting a new year. Its open space appears inviting, and the fresh prospects instill hope. Each January presents an opportunity to reestablish and reclaim what promises to keep me balanced and growing. In late December, a television newscaster disparaged New Year’s resolutions as worthless, probably because studies show that almost 80 percent of them will be broken or discarded before the month is over. In spite of this fact, I believe resolutions to be valuable for my personal growth. Through the years I’ve found an intentional focus on some aspect of my attitude and behavior to be of substantial value. One simple intention can make a big difference in how I live. I prefer…

Read More

Ritual and Routine Exercise for Spouses

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

We’d like to give you an opportunity to strengthen the rituals and routines that bind you together and make you unique as a couple. You’ll have an opportunity to look at or develop the routines you have that make sure you get the time you need to work, play, pray, communicate, and celebrate together. Part I: Rituals A ritual is a regular, scheduled, expected event that enables you to have the time you need to work, play, pray, communicate, and celebrate together. Sit down with your spouse, and consider your relationship. In the blanks below, write the rituals that mean the most to you in the following categories: work, play, prayer, communication, and celebrations. If you don’t have entries for a particular category, discuss rituals you could create to shore up this part of your lives together. Work: Every week, we have regular, scheduled time to work together to keep…

Read More

Resentment: Lord, the One You Love is Keeping Score

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

Being Resentful Is Not the Same as Getting Frustrated All of us will experience times of frustration in our relationships. (This is true for all kinds of relationships, but I’m going to focus on romantic partnerships in this part of the book.) After all, we’re constantly learning how to give and accept love, and learning how to love another person as God loves them gives us daily opportunities to see where we’re lacking and where we need to improve. When a partner leaves the toilet seat up or doesn’t take out the trash in time for the morning collection, we might get frustrated. Similarly, when we leave our clothes on the floor or accidentally throw away important paperwork or track mud in the house, our partner might get frustrated with us. That frustration can lead to arguments, and it’s a bad feeling for everyone involved. Again, we’re all trying our…

Read More

Bending So We Don’t Break

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

My parents have long had a wonderful saying: “Never leave one good party in search of another.” Of course, the adage applied to real parties. My mom and dad were notorious for being the last to leave any social gathering. They were the first on the dance floor and the last to wave goodbye, usually after having stayed around to help clean up. But I learned early on that their wisdom also applied to most of the important things in life: education, career, and especially marriage. When I need an example of a strong marriage, I simply look to my own parents, who have been going strong for fifty years and counting. I won’t say that they never fought, but I will say that they were partners through and through. At the core of their relationship is a mutual covenant to help one another get to heaven and to experience…

Read More

PRAYERS FOR FOSTERING UNITY

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Uncategorized | No Comments

Releasing Unhealthy Attachment with Parents Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I have not fully left my parents to be joined to my spouse. I now renounce any unhealthy attachment I have with either of my parents. I release them to you, Father, and I ask you to give them the grace to release me. I declare that my primary allegiance is to you and to my spouse. I pray this in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Releasing Unhealthy Attachment with Children Heavenly Father, I recognize that I have formed unhealthy attachments with my children, and that this is unhealthy for their growth and development and for my relationship with my spouse. I ask you for the grace to release those unhealthy attachments now, and to form a healthy bond with my spouse, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Renouncing Unholy…

Read More

The Call to Change

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Spirituality | No Comments

Today we celebrate Christ’s triumphal entrance into the holy city of Jerusalem. The crowds laid their cloaks before him and received him as a king and the hopeful fulfillment of Israel’s long wait: “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord” (Lk 19:38). Immediately upon his arrival in Jerusalem, Christ proceeded to upend the comfortable rhythm of religious practice and leadership. From the cleansing of the Temple to the famous “woe to you, scribes and Pharisees” orations, it quickly became clear that Christ brought zeal for restoring right order and casting out all corruption and hypocrisy. Those who were open to Christ—which included the need to acknowledge the faults of their ways—were able to accompany him in the mighty work that had emblazoned his longing heart through all his earthly ministry. They would be the ones who would also share its fruits. Those whose hearts had…

Read More

Falling in Love by Paul George

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

What is more difficult, falling in love or staying in love? I’ve had this question posed to me a few times. The soul awakens when one falls in love. My soul awoke when I fell in love with my wife. Falling in love was easy. Sure, I had some fears and doubts, but as soon as I let go of those, I fell hard. My soul awoke too when I gave my life to Jesus. I sur- rendered. I had questions, doubts, and fears, but once I let go of those, my heart fell in love and broke open. My out- look changed overnight, but changes in my behavior and attitudes took time. I’m still on the journey of healing, growth, and conversion. Love requires more of us than falling. It’s the day-to-day process of loving that develops holy grit within us. We all know the feeling when the romance…

Read More

Find Love in Small Deeds

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Romance | No Comments

In addition to being kind to ourselves, we also need to open up to the gentle presence of others in our lives. There are so many people who, during the day, care for us through little words of affirmation or other small ways. But we take them all for granted and miss the power of their wonderful support. It may take the form of family and friends saying a kind word. They may call just to let us know they are thinking of us. Or, they may do a small chore for us so we don’t have to do it ourselves. Often these are unrecognized graces. We fail to recognize them because we are used to them, maybe too used to them. Then we miss them when they are gone. Being grateful for the wonderful people in our lives now would certainly change our behavior toward them. As in the…

Read More