I have trouble sleeping if my husband, Daniel, is out of town. The familiar sound of his breathing as he sleeps beside me is what slows my own breath and beckons me into sleep each night. After fifteen years of marriage, if he is far away it feels as if part of me is missing.
“Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” This is how scripture describes the intimacy of marriage (Gn 2:23). A parent and a child are bound together by blood, but a husband and wife take on this kind of intimacy by choice, reflecting the relationship between God and the Church, his chosen Bride. Through sacramental grace, our spouse—although forever in some ways a mystery to all but God—is
made intimately known to us and we to him.
The differences between Daniel and me remain a source of wonder, occasional frustration, and frequent bemusement. “You really like that? Your brain works this way?” Even after years of marriage, there are always surprises: from film and food preferences to how we make decisions and communicate. And yet, each day by sacramental grace and as companions through the great sorrows, losses, and also overwhelming
joys of life, we are bound together—like comrades in arms through life’s battles. We are fellow pilgrims longing for our heavenly
home and discovering that it’s when we make our soul’s dwelling in the heart of God that our hearts are drawn most closely together.
Love’s deepest intimacies—whether with Jesus in the tabernacle or your husband next to you—are so often a matter of simple presence. We breathe in the grace, and breathe out our deepest thoughts and feelings to someone who knows us well—and loves us anyway. I wrote the prayer below to celebrate that happiness.
Prayer for a Simple Kind of Love
Heavenly Bridegroom, pour out your grace on my marriage. Guard and protect it, drawing us ever nearer to you, and closer to each other. Nurture the seed of friendship in our hearts that we may take great joy in each other’s company. Equip each of us to be more devoted to the good of the other than our own desires. Knit our dreams for life together and make our way forward clear. When we fall short, help us to forgive ourselves; and when our spouse falls short, help us to offer them the same grace to start again without keeping score. Impress upon our hearts that our marriage is more than the love of two people; it is a reflection of your love for the Church. Strengthen us through the grace of the sacraments and prayer to make that reflection beautiful that we may be of one mind, one heart, and one flesh. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
This excerpt from The Ave Prayer Book for Catholic Mothers is reprinted with permission of Ave Maria Press.
Haley Stewart is the author of The Grace of Enough: Pursuing Less and Living More in a Throwaway Culture and Jane Austen’s Genius Guide to Life: On Love, Friendship, and Becoming the Person God Created You to Be and the editor of Word on Fire Spark.
