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Together for Life Online Team

Jul 25
0

Tools for Building a Strong Marriage

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

For our love to be life-giving, we need to be connected with one another. Unfortunately, in today’s electronically linked world, we are sometimes more aware of the people on the other side of our phone or the Internet than of the people who are sitting in front of us: the members of our family. How can we provide for their needs and be of service to them if we are not aware of them? John: Invisible People Dave and Diane are a couple in their early thirties. Married seven years, they have two children. Dave is a successful professional, and Diane works part-time at the local library. They are a normal couple and have the problems that all couples have. As I listened to Diane and Dave describe, during a counseling session, their problems and their schedules, I formed a mental picture of their evenings’ routine. It is 7:00 p.m….

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Jul 25
0

How the Sacramental Graces of Marriage Help Couples

By | Catholic Weddings, Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage | No Comments

The sacrament of Marriage is not just a ritual you will celebrate on your wedding day. Your wedding rite is the door that opens your heart to the graces you need to be a credible icon of Jesus’ love each day of your life—a sacrament of God’s love. Being married in the Church in a sacramental marriage is an act of faith that brings you many graces. It is because of your faith that you allow yourself to be touched by God and love your spouse in good times and bad. You let the example of Jesus and the prompting of the Holy Spirit guide you and influence you every day. • When you are upset and hurt in your relationship, it will be your faith that urges you to turn to Jesus who will guide you back to each other. • When you bask in the love of your…

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Jun 28
0

Tools for Communication and Prayer

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

The road to mutual welcome and acceptance requires spouses to do a great deal of listening and to engage in honest, self-giving conversation with each other and with God. Listening with an Open Mind Spouses often give one another advice that is helpful. At times, though, the advice is unsolicited and can create barriers, conflict, and even hostility. Marriage experts tell us that too often this advice is seen as nagging or bossy and therefore too frequently is simply dismissed, despite the fact that there is considerable advantage to listening to one’s spouse with an open mind and at least considering, if not always accepting, his or her advice. Teri: The Door John and I were married two and a half years and had a ten month- old daughter. We were living in our first home and decided to install a storm door for our front entrance. We went to…

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Jun 28
1

Accepting Your Spouse as Precious Gift

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

You welcome and accept your spouse as Jesus welcomes you when you embrace him or her as a precious gift. Between 1979 and 1984 St. John Paul II gave a series of talks on the dignity of the human person and marriage. These lectures became known as the Theology of the Body. Then pope, John Paul taught that God gave Eve to Adam and Adam to Eve as a gift. He made each for the other. You are made for each other, and in marriage you give your spouse the gift that you are. In your mutual self-giving and receiving, you affirm one another as a man and as a woman and you grow closer together. When leading retreats for married couples, we often ask, “How is your spouse a gift from God to you?” Here are some of the answers we have heard: “We are thankful that God made…

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Jun 28
0

What Baptism Teaches Us about Marriage

By | Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

Through Baptism we enter into a personal relationship with Jesus, who loves us intimately and completely, accepting us as we are while also calling us to be more. The way Jesus loves us in Baptism is the model for the way spouses are called to love each other Both in Baptism and in Marriage two persons freely choose each other. In Baptism Jesus freely chooses us because he loves us, and we freely choose him. In the sacrament of Marriage spouses must freely and completely choose each other. In Baptism Christ forgives our sins and accepts us as members of his Body to share his divine life with us. In Marriage husband and wife see beyond each other’s imperfections and shortcomings. They welcome and accept each other as they are and join together for the whole of life. In Baptism we become one with Christ as members of his Mystical…

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May 31
0

Tools for Money Management and Communication Skills

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

The commitment to be present touches all aspects of the marital rela­tionship. It is reflected in a special way in the honesty and trust spouses need to have with each other in their day-to-day interactions. One of the most tangible expressions of mutual trust and commitment is visible in a couple’s way of managing their money. Their ability to communicate openly about finances and to harmonize their buying and spending styles is critical to a couple’s development of healthy financial habits. This ability strengthens the relationship. Therefore, we will address here not only money management but also communication skills and the importance of remembering that no matter what we do we are always in God’s presence. Teri: Making a Budget Before John and I were married, we discussed how we would manage our money, and we agreed that we would have only one checking account. For us, having a common…

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May 31
0

The Value of Commitment and the Power of Grace

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

Every couple wants their marriage to last a lifetime. Researchers tell us that the presence of an irrevocable commitment contributes to the happiness of the spouses. Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, and Maggie Gallagher, former chair of the National Organi­zation for Marriage, reported on their research in The Case for Marriage. They found that “having a partner who is committed for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, makes people happier and healthier.” But married life can be difficult, and today many couples find it hard to keep their promises. Many young people have grown up expe­riencing the pains of divorce in their homes. While wanting to marry, they find it hard to believe that marriages can last a lifetime and are afraid to commit. If you are one of them, take courage. One of the ben­efits of a marriage founded on faith is…

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May 31
0

What Confirmation Teaches Us about Marriage

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

Christ’s love for us as expressed in the sacrament of Confirmation is the model for the love that you will promise to your spouse in your marriage vows. There are many similarities between the sacraments of Confirmation and Marriage: In Confirmation, the Holy Spirit binds the candidate permanently to Christ, and in Marriage, through your promises, the Holy Spirit will bind you permanently to your spouse. In Confirmation, the bishop marks the candidates with oil indicating that they belong to Christ. In Marriage, spouses mark each other with a wedding ring to indicate that they belong to one another. In Confirmation, the presence of the Holy Spirit strengthens the can­didate’s bond with Christ and his or her membership in the Church. In marriage, the spouses’ reliable presence to each other strengthens their bond, increases their mutual trust, and prepares them for life­long intimacy. Confirmation strengthens Christians in their mission to…

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Apr 25
0

Learning to Bring Comfort and Healing

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Romance, Spirituality | No Comments

In marriage, loving as Jesus means being aware of each other’s needs and pains and helping one another carry our burdens. One of the early challenges couples experience in marriage is the feeling of drifting apart and the anguish that comes from it. Dr. William Doherty writes that getting married is like launching a trip on the Mississippi River with a canoe. Unless the couple paddles to resist the currents, they will be carried downstream to places they did not intend to visit. Dr. Doherty writes in his book Take Back Your Marriage that after a few months or years of marriage, spouses tend to let their relationship shift into “automatic pilot,” and they drift apart. John: What’s Wrong with Us? The young lady sitting in my office looked distraught. Valerie and John had been married barely six months. They married dreaming of a blissful life together. Now, however, Valerie…

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Apr 25
0

Tools for Enduring Pain and Suffering in Faith

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment, Meaning of Marriage, Spirituality | No Comments

Our Attitude Makes a Difference John: I Say “White”; He Says “Black” A few years ago I visited my sister and her husband who live in Italy. During a quiet moment when she and I were alone on her balcony overlooking the garden, she said with a frustrated tone in her voice, “How can I go on? He is driving me crazy.” She was referring to her husband. “There are days I cannot stand him. I say ‘white’; he says ‘black.’ I say, ‘Let’s go right’; he wants to go left.” Then, after a long pause, she added, “I guess this is life. We are different. He is my cross, and I am his.” She continued, “John, don’t misunderstand me. There are many good days, and I am grateful for them. I love him. But when things get tough, I pray a lot for peace, and then I carry on….

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