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Together for Life Online Team

Dec 22
0

Activity for Couples: Marital Conflict and Core Wounds

By | Communication, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

There are often core wounds and hidden sins that lie behind each repetitive marital conflict. But because they are hidden, we need help discovering them. So, as you engage in this activity, I encourage you each to ask the Holy Spirit to help you see these hidden issues within yourself and your partner. As you explore these hidden wounds and sins, do so with understanding and compassion. Personal Reflection 1. Begin by reflecting personally on how you perceive your marital conflict. See it clearly in your imagination. If you were to draw a picture of you interacting during conflict, how would you depict each of you in the argument? In your mind’s eye, pay attention to what each of you is expressing nonverbally through your body posture and facial expressions. 2. Once you can picture both of you in the scene, name the feelings that you observe in each of…

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Nov 28
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Journey with the Holy Family

By | Family Life, Holidays, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

As we prepare for the coming of the Son of God, we will journey with the Holy Family. Depending upon the calendar, the fourth week of Advent could have one day or six days, but we will spend them all with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We journey with Mary and Joseph as they make their way to Bethlehem, where there will be no room for them at the inn. There they will settle in at a stable and Jesus will be born in humility in the quiet of the night. We will be with Mary and Joseph in the ordinary moments of life and in the extraordinary circumstance of God coming to earth as we all do, as a small and wonderful child. The stable wherein Jesus is born says so much about the desires and love of God. It is no coincidence that Jesus is born in a stable….

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Nov 28
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Critical Issues

By | Communication, Family Life, Finances, Finding Joy, Sexual Intimacy and NFP | No Comments

By the end of Margie’s life, Margie and I still had many unresolved conflicts between us, though we grew tremendously over the years in our ability to honor and respect each other despite these many differences. Some of our conflicts originated in personality differences, some in gender differences, and others from different values and lifestyle choices. Underlying all these were our “deeper hidden issues,” which Gottman identifies as the most critical in marriage. These deeper hidden issues included our respective areas of selfishness, sins, and wounds. These underlying issues fueled the surface conflicts and made them far more intense and hurtful. Most couples have difficulty accepting, honoring, and negotiating differences when it comes to these “deeper hidden issues.” Our fallen nature has a basic core of self-centeredness that hinders our capacity to reconcile our differences and become more unified. We also bring into marriage a whole lifetime of accumulated vices…

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Oct 26
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THE DESIRE OF SAINTS IN DEATH

By | Uncategorized | No Comments

This “anthropology of love,” as we might call it, is shown to us in the mystifying words of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. In the middle of the night a couple months before she died, Thérèse sat up in bed, coughed up blood, and declared: I feel that I’m about to enter into my rest. But I feel especially that my mission is about to begin, my mission of making God loved as I love Him, of giving my little way to souls. If God answers my desires, my heaven will be spent on earth until the end of the world. Yes, I want to spend my heaven in doing good on earth. This isn’t impossible, since from the bosom of the beatific vision, the angels watch over us. I can’t make heaven a feast of rejoicing; I can’t rest as long as there are souls to be saved. But when…

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Oct 26
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Love Languages

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Gary Chapman’s bestselling book The 5 Love Languages has been read by more than eleven million people throughout the world. It is consistently one of the bestselling marriage books on the market, indicating that it has resonated with many. In it, he identifies and describes five different ways of giving and receiving love that affect the way we interact with our family and friends. These love languages are: Words of Affirmation—Using kind words and nurturing tone of voice to encourage the other person and affirm their goodness and accomplishments. Giving Gifts—Concrete expressions of love in the form of money or material things with the goal of meeting a personal need or desire. Acts of Service—Showing love by meeting physical needs or doing practical things to meet immediate needs, such as cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, or house repairs. Quality Time—Being present and offering undivided attention as an expression…

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Sep 26
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Gender Differences

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

There are many people and organizations today that downplay the importance of gender or want to deny there are any differences between men and women. But the popularity of bestselling books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and Men and Women Are from Eden show that many married couples are quite interested in understanding the inherent differences between the sexes. Research has validated that there are fundamental differences in the way men and women relate in marriage. And scripture highlights these differences in the creation story: “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gn 1:27). I was amazed while studying the theology of the body to discover the rich meaning of the Hebrew names for male and female. The word male in Hebrew is zakar. It literally means “to remember,” and it speaks to…

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Aug 30
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Gather Together for a Fall Feast

By | Family Life, Finding Joy, Uncategorized | No Comments

Menu: This menu fits so well with the crisp weather of autumn—from the roasted butternut squash soup, to a spectacular stuffed pumpkin baked to perfection in the French style. Tell everyone to save room, because a rustic apple crisp is for dessert. Starter: Roasted Butternut Squash Soup Main: Spectacular Stuffed Pumpkin Side: Kale Salad with Cider-Maple Vinaigrette Dessert: Any-Fruit Crisp with Homemade Caramel Sauce STARTER: ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP Serves 8 Ingredients You’ll Need 4 (12-ounce) packages precut butternut squash (or 2 medium butternut squashes, peeled, seeded, and chopped) 4 tablespoons olive oil, divided 1 tablespoon honey Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning 1 large onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed 4 cups chicken or vegetable stock 1 teaspoon sea salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground Healthy pinch of ground cinnamon Healthy pinch of ground nutmeg 2 cups unsweetened canned coconut milk or heavy…

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Aug 30
0

UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS OF CONFLICTS

By | Communication, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment | No Comments

[Love] does not seek its own interests, . . . it does not brood over injury. —1 Corinthians 13:5 Your marriage will largely succeed or fail depending on how well you understand and reconcile the unavoidable conflicts that are inherent in your relationship. No matter how compatible or incompatible you believe you are, some level of conflict is inevitable. How you understand and address these issues will make the difference between whether you have a good marriage or a poor one, or one that falls somewhere in between. If handled well, your conflicts will bring you into deeper unity and intimacy with each other. If ignored long enough, unresolved conflicts can become internalized, and cause one or both of you to withdraw your love. Understanding your conflicts does not mean that all of them are resolvable. In fact, according Dr. John Gottman’s research, most conflicts in marriage are not resolvable….

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Aug 30
1

An Examination of Your Hearts for Married Couples

By | Communication, Family Life, Finding Joy, Marriage Enrichment, Spirituality | No Comments

We invite you as a couple to enter into an examination of your own hearts. Spend time asking yourself and each other where there are wounds, and after opening the tomb and exposing the dead life within you, pray with each other for freedom and joy. As you read through this examination of wounds, write down or mark in your book which wounds afflict your heart. We have started a list below. Use our list, or if the Holy Spirit brings things to light that are not written here, add them. Add all of them and leave nothing in the tomb. It’s resurrection time. We will be praying specifically into each area in the next step. Before you begin, make the Sign of the Cross and take a deep breath. Allow your hearts to enter into Christ’s peace. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and reveal what has been hidden….

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Jul 25
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Common Obstacles to Serving with Love

By | Communication, Family Life, Marriage Enrichment, Marriage Preparation, Meaning of Marriage | No Comments

The Influence of Secular Individualism In contemporary society, it has become difficult to see that our life and love may have a purpose greater than just our own self-satisfaction. We are constantly bombarded by messages that tell us to “put yourself first” and “do what feels good.” This individualistic view of life is an obstacle to serving God and each other. The 2007 report published by the National Marriage Project called “The State of Our Unions” speaks of a cultural shift that is taking place in the United States. The social scientists report on the growing influence of “secular individualism.” Secular individualism is a mindset that is spreading across all modern cultures, touting a secular view of life. This way of thinking replaces the guidance of religious faith with the pursuit of personal self-fulfillment. Secular individualism is leading our society to distort the meaning of marriage; accept cohabitation, divorce, and…

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