Together for Life Online Team

We spent the last chapter talking about the bad habits you need to avoid and reviewing the habits you need to cultivate instead. For instance, complaints (non-personal, non-accusatory statements about needs or concerns) are fine; criticisms (personal, antagonistic blaming statements) are not. Understanding and helpful statements can defeat defensiveness, and compassionate statements can overcome contempt. Knowing when you need help and having the humility to seek that help can make all the difference between becoming a marriage master or being a marriage disaster. And prayer, before and after conflict and especially during—both as an individual and as a couple—is critical to successful, godly,marriage-building communication. Having reviewed some of the specific traps couples fall in, we’d like to offer seven additional tips to help you successfully resolve conflict. 1.    Take Care of Each Other Ironically, the most important thing about problem solving has nothing to do with actually solving the problem….

By John Bosio Is there really such thing as a “compatible” couple? Research suggests that all couples have unresolved issues, but that what is important is for spouses to keep the disagreements from dismantling the relationship. Authors have excellent suggestions for keeping disagreements from tearing the marital relationship apart, such as: don’t let your arguments escalate into emotional earthquakes—take time to cool down; let your spouse speak their mind without interrupting; and stay on the topic and avoid dragging past events into the discussion. However, as I read the books and articles that well-intended authors have written to counsel couples, I realize that no one is addressing the root cause of all marital discord. The reason we hurt each other is not so much that we are incompatible or because we do not know how to communicate, it is primarily because we give in to something our mother told us…

After two decades of marriage, six kids (including a premature baby), one miscarriage, and a slew of “learning opportunities,” I’d say the mister and I have learned one critical lesson: we have SO much more to learn. During the course of our marriage, our definitions of “busy” and “romance” have changed. But, there are some universal truths. Here are our best ten: Connect with one another. At the beginning of every morning, Scott makes it a point to pause to give me a hug and a lovely kiss before he heads out of the door for work. On the days he forgets, I run into the driveway in my pajamas because it’s just that important. At the end of the day, he does the same thing. I’m here to tell you that it’s the little things that break a marriage. Just as Casting Crowns so eloquently says, “It’s a slow fade, when…