Christ’s love for us as expressed in the sacrament of Confirmation is the model for the love that you will promise to your spouse in your marriage vows. There are many similarities between the sacraments of Confirmation and Marriage:
- In Confirmation, the Holy Spirit binds the candidate permanently to Christ, and in Marriage, through your promises, the Holy Spirit will bind you permanently to your spouse.
- In Confirmation, the bishop marks the candidates with oil indicating that they belong to Christ. In Marriage, spouses mark each other with a wedding ring to indicate that they belong to one another.
- In Confirmation, the presence of the Holy Spirit strengthens the candidate’s bond with Christ and his or her membership in the Church. In marriage, the spouses’ reliable presence to each other strengthens their bond, increases their mutual trust, and prepares them for lifelong intimacy.
- Confirmation strengthens Christians in their mission to live their faith and to give witness to Christ through their daily actions. In Christian Marriage God’s graces strengthen the spouses in their vocation to be loving and faithful husbands and wives; through their attentiveness to the other’s needs, they give witness to Christ’s love for the Church.
- In Confirmation, the presence of the Holy Spirit comes with certain spiritual gifts that guide and help the Christian in his or her spiritual life and in the service of the Church: wisdom, understanding, right judgment, courage, knowledge, reverence, and a spirit of wonder and awe in God’s presence. In Marriage the spouses bring to their relationship their own personal gifts: their personalities, faith, talents, education, financial resources, and personal experiences, to name a few. Spouses share their gifts to help each other, to build a life together, and to serve God and society with their daily acts of love and kindness, their careers, and their children.
When a man and a woman celebrate the sacrament of marriage, God . . . is “mirrored” in them, he marks them with his features and the indelible character of his love. —Pope Francis General Audience, April 2, 2014
How the Sacramental Graces of Confirmation Help Married Couples
Because of the sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation, Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, is near you to strengthen you with courage, to guide you in your decisions with wisdom and right judgment, and to inspire you to love your spouse as Jesus loves you. When you need his help, all you need to do is ask. Pope Francis reminds us that the Holy Spirit makes the Christian person wise:
We have the Holy Spirit within us, in our heart; we can listen to him. . . . If we listen to the Holy Spirit, he teaches us this way of wisdom, he endows us with wisdom, which is seeing with God’s eyes, listening with God’s ears, loving with God’s heart, directing things with God’s judgement. . . . We can all have [this]. We only have to ask it of the Holy Spirit. . . . In Marriage for example, the two spouses—the husband and wife—argue, and then they don’t look at each other, or if they do . . . [it is] with displeasure: Is this the wisdom of God? No! Instead, if one says: “Ah well, the storm has passed, let’s make peace,” and they begin again and go forward in peace: Is this wisdom? Now, this is the gift of wisdom. May it come to our homes, may we have it with the children, may it come to us all!1
Can you share the story of your Confirmation?
What does Confirmation mean to you today? Have you learned anything new from what you just read?
In what situations in your life have you asked for the guidance of the Holy Spirit or of God?
What are some circumstances in your relationship with your fiancé in which you want to ask the Holy Spirit for help?
This excerpt from The Joined by Grace Couple’s Book is reprinted with permission of Ave Maria Press.
John Bosio is a former marriage and family therapist, director of religious education, and diocesan family life coordinator. He and his wife, Teri, wrote Joined by Grace, a marriage preparation program from Ave Maria Press.
