By Christy Wilkens
In a perfect world, a husband and wife lay down their lives for each other as Christ lays down his body for us in the Eucharist. Both marriage and Holy Communion are sacrament and sacrifice, examples of how dying to self produces life-giving love.
We do not live in a perfect world. Every individual, and every marriage, bears the mark of the Fall in unique and exquisitely painful ways. Stress. Infidelity. Disease. Addiction. Misunderstanding that festers into resentment.
For hope in these dark moments, when love seems lost and our human powers of reconciliation fail, let us draw upon these words: “Never permit me to be separated from You.”
That line is from the Spiritual Communion prayer of St. Alphonsus Liguori, a prayer that allows us to commune fully with Jesus in God’s mysterious space-time while we are apart in our own. This humble prayer can also unite us with our spouses across emotional distance. Our marriages are each a small reflection of the Sacrament of the Eucharist: a total gift of self, even unto death.
When we are not close, we must beg for union. Turning our thoughts eventually transforms our words and actions. Setting our hearts on communion, rather than our own pain, is the seed that blossoms into renewal. The Sacrament of Marriage bears within itself actual grace, but that grace requires our tenacity, our cooperation, and the lifeblood of Christ.
Return to him. Cling to your promises. Persevere in hope.
Whether the cracks start to show from the outside or the inside, every marriage goes through tough times. Communication becomes strained, with each person going through the motions—yet wanting desperately the happier times ahead. Below is a prayer of hope, that God would use whatever you are facing right now to draw you closer to each other . . . and draw you both closer to him.
Prayer for Healing in Our Marriage
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God,
Have mercy on our marriage in our time of need.
Thank you for the gift of sacramental, self-giving love.
I am sorry for the ways I have failed to live up to this gift.
Thank you for your strengthening graces when we succeeded.
Lord, my husband and I are distant.
We need communion. We need Communion.
May the gift of yourself in the Eucharist inspire us to love with abandon.
Help us die to ourselves and pour out our lives for each other.
Let the grace of our marriage sacrament enable us
To speak your words,
To listen with your ears,
To understand with your heart,
Align our wills, together and with yours.
Enlighten our hearts and minds with self-knowledge,
and give us your mercy with which to forgive that which we cannot forgive on our own.
Never permit us to be separated from you.
Never permit us to be separated from each other.
Amen.
This excerpt from The Ave Prayer Book for Catholic Mothers is reprinted with permission of Ave Maria Press.
Christy Wilkens is the author of Awakening at Lourdes: How an Unanswered Prayer Healed Our Family and Restored Our Faith.
